what will they do all day?

To continue my series of common questions that I began on June 18th, I would like to discuss another question that I am asked quite frequently.

Usually after I explain to someone that we are not following a curriculum, and we discuss the reasons why, the question of our day-to-day happenings comes up. It usually goes something like this: "But what will your kids do all day? I think if most kids were home all day, they would just watch TV and play video games (*insert nervous laughter here*). They would never learn anything on their own."

Well, let me ask you this: when you come home from a day of work, what do you want to do? You probably don't want to make dinner, get your kids to do their homework, give the baby a bath, wash the dishes, and put in a load of laundry. And, chances are, you definitely don't want to sit at the kitchen table and do some more work that your boss sent home with you. Personally, sitting on the couch and watching "The Nanny" sounds like a pretty good evening to me. So why shouldn't kids be the same?!?! Schooled kids have essentially been locked up in a classroom "learning" all day (OK, fine, they get 45 minutes of playtime at lunch), so the last thing they want to do when they get home is more "learning." So when we see our child at the end of a long day, we see the tired-lazy-TV-watching-video-game-playing version of that child. If this is what we see day in and day out, it is hard to imagine that if we pulled this kid out of school, he would do anything other than that.

But I would like to suggest that every child, given the freedom, would choose to learn. However, the problem with sending kids to school is that we are training them from age 5 (and some even age 3 at preschool) to believe that learning is something which primarily happens in the classroom, with a teacher. And by about age 7, they believe that learning only happens because the teacher requires it. They believe that the reason for learning is to pass the test, do the worksheet, or complete the project. Sure, some kids enjoy the busywork of school, but many more kids see it as either boring, or pointless, or something to just get done so they can can get on with their real lives.

But what if children were never exposed to this "learning because I have to" mindset? Think about your kids (or any kids that you know) when they were babies or toddlers. Learning was as natural as breathing. Every moment of every day was spent learning something important, and they loved it! Before school age, children learn to walk, talk, play, explore, think, reason, run, jump, pretend, share, create, dance, perform, and so much more. So why is it that when a kid turns 5 years old, we think that now learning needs to begin? The child has been doing it all along! If we just leave these toddlers alone, they will continue to learn as they grow, and they will enjoy it.

I offer some examples from my own children. As you are probably aware by now, I do not require them to learn anything. I do not have workbooks that they must fill out every day, or textbooks they must read, or mandatory subjects for them to study. They have been learning from the day they were born, and as they have grown, their learning has become increasingly more complex. They have shown interest in a huge variety of topics, and I have been a facilitator, allowing them the freedom to explore, and offering them help when they wanted it. They have amazed me time after time with what they are capable of!

Liam, at age 3, knows all his letters. I had no idea he knew the letters until the other day when he wanted to make a magazine for his daddy for Father's Day. He asked me to tell him the letters to spell out the words he wanted to write, so I told him the letters as well as how to write each of them. After I had explained how a few of the letters looked, he turned to me in frustration and said, "I KNOW how the letters look. I just want you to tell me what they are. I will write them myself." So I did just that, and he wrote them. Because I never required him to sit at a table and write out the letters, I had no idea that he even knew them. But all along, he has been watching and learning, on his own, because he obviously saw the value in knowing the letters. He chose to learn them!

The Lady of Shalott by John William Waterhouse
(an example of Pre-Raphaelite art)

Another example of our learning comes to mind. Just the other day, I was playing "house" with the kids. Ella decided that she was the mom, Liam wanted to be the 10-year-old "big boy" and they both wanted me to be the 3-year-old (Gavin, of course, was the baby). For some reason, it was the "olden days." Ella told me that there were no cars, no planes, and no wrapping paper or tissue paper for gifts. I added that there would have also been no microwaves, as she started to prepare a meal for the family. We talked more about the "olden days" and I suggested that the period she might be thinking of is the late 1800s. After a while, Ella asked me, "How do you know so much about the olden days?" I told her that I have read a lot of books, and watched documentaries. Incredulously, she asked, "Did you read those books when you were a kid?!?!" When I told her that I did indeed read many books as a kid, she decided that she better start reading some books right now. Fortunately, I had just unpacked a book about the Pre-Raphaelites, so I asked the kids if they wanted to look at it. We looked at the paintings in the book (which both kids discussed with more insight than I would have thought a preschooler capable of), and read some poems. I told them a little about the people and the time period, told them the story of The Lady of Shalott, and answered their questions as best I could. After a while, they decided they were done and wanted to play house again. It was a learning moment, but not a teaching moment. In school, they may have been required to draw a picture in the style of the Pre-Raphaelites, or analyze a poem (in later grades), but I think that would have taken away from the fun of it. They enjoyed looking at the book and talking about the olden days. They weren't looking for a lesson, but an experience. They enjoyed it far more than an episode of "Go Diego Go."

John Holt has said that all his work can be summed up in just two words: "Trust children." If we can trust that children know what is best for them, and allow them the freedom to pursue it, they will amaze us. I see it in my own kids already, and I am excited for what is yet to come. If Ella, at age 5, can decide to write a book about the heart and circulatory system (because it's fun!), what will she be doing at age 10? At 15? If she can teach herself to read, there's no reason she can't teach herself algebra, or biology, or whatever else she might be interested in.

And I have every confidence in the world that my children will continue to choose to learn.