why "early learning" doesn't help

I recently came across an interesting article from the Institute of Marriage and Family Canada. The article, called "Nurturing Children: Why 'early learning' doesn't help" is based on an interview with Dr. Gordon Neufeld, a Canadian developmental psychologist and best-selling author of Hold on to your kids: Why parents need to matter more than peers. (I haven't read his book yet, but it is definitely on my ever-growing "to read" list!)

The article is well worth reading in it's entirety, but to sum it up, Dr. Neufeld believes that kids don't need any sort of "early learning" until they are at least six years old - no daycare, no preschool, no junior kindergarten, no kindergarten. He says that parents put their kids into these sorts of programs under the impression that they need to be socialized, but Dr. Neufeld emphatically states, "Probably the greatest myth that has evolved is this idea that socializing with one's equals leads to socialization." Another developmental psychologist, Urie Bronfenbrenner has this to say: "It should be clear that being socialized is not necessarily the same as being civilized. Nazi youth were also products of a socialization process." The article defines socialization as "rendering children fit for society so that children can grow and mature into becoming contributing adults, who can respectfully interact with others in community, be it at work or home, with colleagues, family and friends....Socialization involves being able to get along with others while at the same time being true to oneself."

So then how does socialization happen? Attachment. We are social creatures, and it is important for us to have close relationships. It is through these relationships that we develop a sense of self, according to developmental psychologist John Bowlby. If children spend most of their time with peers, they become peer attached instead of developing a strong attachment to the adult(s) in their lives. If children create these peer attachments too early, they do not have a strong enough sense of self, and so are unable to hold on to their uniqueness. Peers become more and more alike, creating a "sameness" among children. Helen Ward (president of Kids First Parents Association) says that the problem with socializing at school is that "kid's 'friends' are not really 'friends' in any meaningful sense of the word. They are not mature people who can handle another's pain or difference of opinion. Peers want you to be the same as them."

Dr. Neufeld believes that the capacity for healthy relationships unfolds during the first six years of a person's life. He says that "by the fifth year of life, if everything is continuous and safe, then emotional intimacy begins. A child gives his heart to whomever he is attached to."

I, for one, would like my children to give their hearts to me. Before I even read this article or learned a whole lot about peer attachments, I knew that sending my kids to school would cause a change in our relationship. I just knew that sending our kids to daycares and preschools was something that I didn't want to do. Call it mother's intuition, or whatever, but I love that I now have research which backs up our decision to home educate! Because now I have a "legitimate" answer for anyone who asks me about socialization, or is worried that my kids aren't making enough friends.

The article also talks a bit to parents who are have already enrolled their kids in these types of "early learning" programs. If you have put your kid in early care because you think they need to be socialized,  Dr. Neufeld wants you to know that "this is not a researched reason to do so." For parents who need to have their kids in care because of full time employment, perhaps "unregulated" care in the home of a trusted adult would be better than a "one-size-fits-all" government regulated system, which is less personal and more distant from parents.

To this I would also add, perhaps you don't need to be employed at all. I stay at home to be with my kids. This means that we don't have fancy cars, we don't have a huge brand new house, we hardly ever go out to eat, we don't have cable, all our furniture is from Ikea or craigslist, we don't buy a lot of clothes, we don't go on expensive vacations, and we don't own a boat or trailer, but despite all this (or perhaps because of all this), we are happy. I know that there are many families who need two incomes to cover the basic necessities of life. I get it. But I also know that we have become a consumer culture, greedy for the newest and best of everything, so now both partners need to work to pay for all this stuff. Do we really need all this stuff?

I'm probably stepping on some toes here. But if you're mad at me, then at least I've got you thinking. And I'm ok with that.

more homeschooling in BC

Here's a short UPDATE to yesterday's post.

After meeting with some other homeschool moms last night, I realized that I missed one of the reasons that parents would choose to enroll their children rather than register: funding. If you enroll your child, the government gives you $1000 per year to spend on "school" stuff like curriculum, ballet lessons, art classes, drama lessons, karate, etc, etc. If you register your child, you only get $150.

At the meeting of moms that I attended, a very well meaning mom tried to explain to me that it would be much better to enroll so we could get that extra $850. She told me that there are some online schools that we could enroll with that are very lenient, and would basically let us do whatever we want. Of course, we would still have to submit reports every week to a certified teacher so she could make sure my kids were learning what the government wanted them to learn. Hmmm...

An extra $850 sure sounds nice, but is it worth the freedom that we would have to give up? I mean, isn't freedom the whole reason we decided to home educate in the first place? Am I willing to sell out for $850? Do my kids really need to take all the fancy lessons and classes that this $850 could buy? Wouldn't they have just as much fun (and learn just as much) exploring the forest behind our home, or playing on the playground, or attending programs at the library, or having playdates with other homeschool kids, or going on hikes, or playing pretend, or visiting a farm, or mountain biking, or doing any number of things that are available to us out there in the real world?

So, thank you, Ministry of Education, for the generous offer. But I think I'll pass.

homeschooling in BC

This weekend I attended my first Homeschool Convention & Expo, and it was awesome! I listened to some great speakers, learned a lot about learning, bought a bunch of used books, talked to some experts in the field of homeschooling, learned a lot about myself, met my new hero, David Albert, looked into some karate classes (Liam's new passion), bought a stack of books that will probably take me forever to read, ran into some old friends, met some new people, and thoroughly enjoyed my two days there.

I will be blogging about some things that I learned and discovered, and about some of the speakers I listened to, later this week. Stay tuned!

For today, though, I want to write a bit about homeschooling in BC. Since we are new to homeschooling, and technically won't be starting until the fall (although I am a firm believer that learning happens all the time, and doesn't just start when you open a textbook), I spent a lot of time talking to different people about the nitty-gritty legal stuff. What I found out shocked me a little bit!

In BC, we have what are most likely the best homeschooling laws in all of North America. That I already knew, but it was confirmed to me by a number of people this weekend. Basically, if you want your kids to learn at home, you have two options: enrollment or registration. If you are an enrolled homeschooler, a BC teacher helps you either purchase or create a curriculum that meets the provincial standards, the teacher directs and supervises the learning, your child is regularly assessed, and your child receives regular report cards and a Dogwood diploma. Essentially, if you choose this option, your child will learn exactly what the kids at school are learning, on the same timetable, and be assessed by the same authorities. On the other hand, if you are a registered homeschooler under sections 12 & 13 of the School Act, you are free to provide your child with "an educational program" of your choice, there is no interference or supervision by a teacher and/or the Ministry of Education, your child is not required to take standardized tests, you do not have to meet the provincial learning outcomes, and your children will not receive a Dogwood diploma. Essentially, if you choose this option, your children have the freedom to learn at their own pace, you have the freedom to teach them whatever you want, and you have the option of allowing them to learn about things they are interested in rather than things that the government thinks they should be interested in.

If you have read any of my posts, or have talked to me for even 10 minutes on the topic, you can probably guess which option we will be choosing in the fall. Yep, registration. We are so blessed in BC to have the option of complete educational freedom, and I plan to take full advantage of it. Since I am philosophically opposed to the whole idea of school, it makes no sense for me to even consider enrollment, because it would put us under the thumb of the Ministry of Education. No thanks!

Now, here is the surprising part. At least, it was surprising for me. Among homeschoolers, I am in the minority. It turns out that most people homeschooling in BC are enrolled rather than registered. When I first heard that, I was flabbergasted. It seems absurd that someone would want to teach their kids at home, and yet choose to deal with all the trappings of the school system. When I thought about it, though, I realized that there might be a number of valid reasons. We have been schooled to believe that "experts" know so much more about educating our own kids than we do, so we feel inadequate and ill-equipped to teach them all they need to know. We have been schooled to believe that there are specific things that every kid needs to learn at specific times in their development, and we are worried that we might not be able to teach them everything on our own. We have been schooled to believe that learning happens only in a specialized place at a particular time, so we feel that we need to recreate that atmosphere at home. We have been schooled to believe that learning requires some authority figure pouring facts and knowledge into kids' heads.

I think that if we take a step back and really think about learning, we would realize that none of these things are really necessary. No one loves your kids as much as you do. No one knows your kids like you do. And I think that if we give our kids the chance, they will amaze us with what they are capable of doing with out being "taught" or "assessed."

One thing I know for sure is that I want my own kids to grow and learn in freedom.

an interview with jan hunt

Jan Hunt is one of the well-known experts on unschooling. She has a Master's degree in psychology, she has written a number of books, she is an advocate for attachment parenting and unschooling, and she runs the website The Natural Child Project. And that doesn't even scratch the surface!

Today I came across this interview with Jan Hunt. She talks all about unschooling and how she defines it, going to college after unschooling, the criticisms of unschooling, socialization, and much more.

It is 50 minutes long, but you could listen while you check your facebook. ;)

sir ken robinson

I love Sir Ken Robinson! He is an author, an amazing speaker, a world-changer. He is also very funny, and well worth listening to.

In this TED talk from 2006, he talks about the creativity in our kids. Watch!

And this is the follow-up TED talk from 2010 where he talks about his proposal to shift from standardized schools to a more personalized learning.