Thursday, December 6, 2012

living and learning at our house

When I talk to people about our educational philosophy, it's easy to explain what we believe. Kids love to learn, they are naturally curious, and they are capable of learning without being told how or what to learn. They are human beings with their own ideas, desires, preferences, and interests, just like any adult. We trust our kids. We trust that they can and will learn everything they need to know. We know that learning happens all the time, everywhere. We believe that it's important for a person to learn how to learn rather than learn a set of facts. We believe it is important for kids to be included and immersed in their family and community, rather than be segregated with age-graded peers.

People usually listen, nod and say "mmm-hmm" a lot as I talk about all of this. But then they often ask what my kids actually do all day. For a lot of people, "homeschooling" brings to mind a mom and 5 kids all sitting around a kitchen table doing math, spelling and grammar out of various workbooks. But that is pretty much the exact opposite of what we do. Literally. It's hard enough to get them to sit in one place long enough to eat a meal, let alone do a boring workbook.

So here are some real-life concrete examples of how we have been spending our days recently:


One day last week, Liam noticed a spider dropping down over our table at lunchtime. It took all of my courage not to scream and jump out of my chair and/or skin. Instead, we watched the spider. It came down, walked around the table, and did the things that a spider does. The kids and I watched it for quite a while. They were fascinated when they saw how it could walk on the edge and the underside of the table. They loved how it could attach its silk to stuff and drop down. They observed closely, described its physical features, described its behaviours, and made inferences about why it was doing the things it was doing. Eventually we let it outside. But the spider sparked a discussion about scorpions, and Liam ran downstairs to get his toy scorpion. Ella examined it and wondered where its eyes were, so we looked it up on the internet. We learned about different species of scorpions, where they live, how they see/feel, and watched some cool videos. (The coolest was a scorpion having babies - did you know that scorpions are pregnant for 18 months? Then when the babies come out, they all climb up onto mama's back. They are actually pretty cute.) Those videos lead to other videos about tarantulas, and more questions about how they see, how they catch food, what they eat, where they live, and more. We all learned so much! When I asked the kids afterwards about the coolest thing we saw, I expected them to say that it was one of the videos or learning about an exotic creature. But both of them liked watching the real-life spider much more than the other stuff. They liked the thing that was real, and that they could actually experience, even though it wasn't as "cool" as the other animals on the videos. Interesting.

One afternoon, Ella asked if she could read to me. We sat on the couch and she read two chapters out of her novel while I listened. She's a very competent reader now, and doesn't need me there anymore to help her with the words, but it was nice that she wanted to share that time with me. She mostly reads on her own now, or reads out loud to her brothers, so it was also nice to hear her reading and have a proud mommy moment at how far she has progressed.

Liam had a birthday recently and was given the game Guess Who. The kids play all the time. When I listen to them playing, I am genuinely surprised at the questions they are able to come up with all on their own. I didn't realize how much logic they possessed!

A few days ago, Ella found a journal that she had started (and stopped) writing months ago. She flipped through it and got a kick out of the way she used to write and spell words, and then she decided that she would write in it again. So she went around to each member of the family, asked them some interview questions, and recorded their answers. She asked about favourite colours, favourite places to go, favourite things to do, and favourite animals. I like that she was able to recognize for herself how far her writing has progressed over the past few months. She realized that she was able to spell more words correctly now because she reads them all the time. I think she was pretty proud of herself.

We have been putting together a lot of lego sets recently. Joel helps the kids, but Ella is also pretty good at following the directions herself. Liam mostly likes to play with the finished creations. Both of them prefer the lego that doesn't come from a set, however. They like the freedom of being able to build whatever they want.

A couple of weeks ago, we put together two shoeboxes for Operation Christmas Child. The kids loved walking around the dollar store and picking out presents for their boxes. At home, we packed up the boxes, and the kids coloured pictures for the children who would receive them. We talked a lot about where the boxes might go, and what life is like for the kids who will get them. That night at bedtime, both Ella and Liam (independently of each other) asked if we could pray for the kid who will get their shoebox. Ella was especially concerned that the little girl might not like the gifts she picked. It was amazing to see how deeply they both cared about the kids who would receive these gifts.

Last week, a piano arrived at our house. Joel's parents gave us the piano that Joel had learned on as a child, so that our kids could have the same opportunity. They have been playing it almost nonstop since it got here (the only rule is that they can't play while Gavin is sleeping). They practice the things they learned in their lessons, and they also just sit and play. Ella is especially enjoying it. She is starting to make connections between the keys, their names, and how they are expressed on the music staff. Joel has been playing Christmas songs (yay!), and even I have been using it to brush up on my scales and learn the theme from Batman. I think I might start playing again, if I can find the time to practice.

We bundled up and went for a walk in the woods on one unusually sunny afternoon last week. The kids threw stuff into the creek to watch it float away. We went to the playground and met a new friend (whose dad, by the way, was wearing shorts...I felt a little overdressed in a long coat, mittens, a scarf, and a hat). The kids love to be outside. I try to take them out as much as we can, even though it can be difficult in this rainy fall weather.

Last night at bedtime, Ella asked how she might be able to see inside her own eye. I explained that it was impossible to see inside your own eye, and that eyes were designed for seeing things outside the body. But we talked about what's inside an eye, we looked at a diagram on the internet, and I told her about the time that I got to dissect a cow's eyeball. She was very interested in that, and now wants to dissect an eyeball herself. Anyone know where I might find an eyeball to cut up? Hmm...


I hope that gives you an idea of how we do life. We don't force our kids to do anything. We try to say "yes" as much as we can. We help them in their learning quests. We try to offer an environment rich with learning opportunities. We give them the freedom to decide what they want to do all day (for the most part - things like swimming lessons, gymnastics and ballet obviously happen at set times). As parents, we allow them to be part of our own everyday activities, even if that means our tasks will take longer or will be harder to clean up. We try to model the type of behaviours we hope they will learn - respect, love for each other, gratitude, a willingness to try new things, a love of learning, faith in God, good communication, and so many more. We spend as much time as we can talking with our kids, having real conversations, seeking their input, and listening to them. We spend a lot of time snuggling our kids (this may actually be my favourite part of home education).

Basically, we live our lives with our kids. We value God and family above everything else, and try to make sure our actions show this. Loving each other and working together are more important than learning facts, so we focus on that and the learning happens anyway. That's what living and learning at our house looks like.

Friday, November 30, 2012

a word from God

Recently I attended a "Ladies Night Out" event at our new church. It was a crafting night. For any of you that know me well, this is kind of a big deal. I'm not the type of person who is comfortable in a large group of people, especially when I don't know most of them. And I'm definitely not crafty. Not even a little bit. (In fact, I recently went to a craft store and bought some cheap photo frames and spray paint, thinking that I would save a bunch of money by doing it myself...they are now in the trash.) So this event was the epitome of out-of-my-comfort-zone.

For the project, I had to look up the meaning of my name, and think about what it revealed about my character. I had always known that Naomi means pleasant and delightful. Pretty excellent name, right? But that evening, I found out that it also means holy. That kind of freaked me out at first. Holy? I'm not holy! I am sometimes pleasant (depending on the time of the month), often delightful, but holy? Hmm...maybe I would leave that one out of the craft.

I couldn't get it out of my head, though, so I started to think about what it means to be holy. Set apart. Not conforming to the world. These were some of the phrases that kept coming to mind, and I knew they were in the Bible somewhere. Later on, I did a search to find those phrases and found lots of verses, one of which was Romans 12:2 (NKJV): And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God. The funny thing was, I had just written down that exact verse a few days earlier, but in a different version (NLT): Don't copy the behaviour and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God's will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect. Huh. So maybe this is why God wanted me to go to Ladies Night Out.

I thought a lot about what God wanted to tell me through this verse, and it occurred to me that the lifestyle we have chosen is very "set apart" from the world. It seems like we have been questioning everything lately. Big things and little things. We have chosen not to be part of the school system because we knew that it was best for our kids and our family. We have chosen not to have Barbies in our house because we don't like they message they send young kids. We have chosen not to let our kids watch cable TV because we have witnessed how much it changes their behaviour and hinders their imagination. We have chosen to give our kids freedom to make their own decisions because we recognize that they are human beings with their own desires, just like any adult. We have chosen not to over-schedule our kids in activities and groups because we want them to have free time to play and just be kids. We have chosen to parent our kids in a gentle way (rather than using punishments, rewards and spankings to force them to obey), because we recognize that their needs and feelings are just as important as any adult's, and we want to treat them with respect so they will learn how to be respectful. So many of these choices are not the choices that other families would make. But I have realized that it's ok. Romans 12:2 tells us not to copy the behaviours of this world. For our family, that means making a lot of choices that might seem odd to other people.

I think God wanted to let me know that I'm on the right track. That I'm learning to know His will for me. His good, pleasing, and perfect will for ME. And that His will for me (and for our family) is going to look different than His will for other families. So I am happy to continue this journey, to keep learning, and to keep discovering what God has in store for us.

As a reminder and testament to what God is doing in our lives, I decided to make a poster of this verse. And since we all know how crafty I am, I designed it in photoshop and had it printed really big. It now hangs in our front hallway. Ella reads it every time we go out, so I hope it helps her realize that she doesn't need to copy the behaviours of this world, either.

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

a stormy evening

This is not my photo, but it's awesome.
Last night there was a thunderstorm. It was about 4:30 and I should have been starting dinner, but how can you ignore a thunderstorm? How can you say "no" to three very excited kids who want to sit and watch?

So all three kids and I gathered in the living room, opened the blinds, turned out the lights, and watched the lightning. It was awesome! It was the first time that Liam could remember seeing lightning, so he was especially excited. And Gavin, at 19 months, sat looking out the window for over an hour! I couldn't believe how focused they all were!

As the storm progressed, naturally, they started asking questions about storms and lightning and how it all works. I was a little surprised at myself for not knowing the answers, so it's a good thing we have Google. We learned how the thunderclouds are formed, how the electricity builds up inside them, and how the lightning finds its way to the ground. We watched some amazing videos of lightning bolts (their favourite was a video of a tree being hit by lightning and burned up). We talked about what lightning can do to the things that it hits, and about storm safety. We all learned so much!

And then when Daddy came home, the kids were so excited to share their knowledge of storms and clouds and lightning with him.

I think the best part of the evening, however, was when Ella said to me, "I love to learn new things!" And then Liam asked, "Do you know what my favourite thing to learn is? The thing that is happening right now!" They are so excited to learn! They are so awed by the simple things that I have grown to take for granted. I love being able to see the world through their eyes: discovering, experiencing, learning.

We ate spaghetti with sauce from a jar that night. But it was worth it. Spending time experiencing the world with my kids beats making dinner any day.

Friday, November 2, 2012

our favourite iPad apps!

My kids love the iPad. LOVE. In fact, I would guess that they love the Apple store more than a 22-year-old hipster in skinny jeans and a scarf, simply because of the kids table with all the iPads to play on.

When I'm looking for a few minutes to get something done, the iPad is a great way to keep them busy, especially since they don't watch TV anymore, which used to be my go-to distraction. But the iPad is way better than TV, because on top of having fun, I know they are also learning lots while they use it! Since my kids love it so much, I figured I would share our favourite apps with all of you, in case you were looking for something "educational" for your kids to play with.

Disclaimer: my definition of "educational" might differ somewhat from the standard definition. Consider yourself warned. Also, I found these apps in the Canadian App Store. If you are located somewhere else, I don't know if they will be available in your App Store (or at what cost).

Fotopedia Wild Friends
Basically this app is just a collection of photos of different animals. Many of the animals are ones I've never heard of before, and the photographs are stunning. We like to play a game where we pull up a photo and each of us guesses what type of animal it is, and then we toggle on the photo's information and see who is closest. It seems easy, but most of the time we are wrong.
Cost: FREE

DK The Human Body
I think I might like this app more than the kids do. It is an overview of all the different systems inside the human body. The graphics are awesome and the definitions are great.. There are annotations that you can turn on or off. There are close-ups of certain body parts, such as the ear or eye. There are animations of how certain things work, such as the heart beating or a nerve impulse.
Cost: $6.99

Solar Walk
This app is SO COOL. It's the solar system that you can zoom in and out of. You can check out the planets, moons, sun, and even all the different satellites orbiting the earth. There are tons of facts and info about everything, and it's super easy to use. Not to mention the pleasant music that plays in the background as you float through our solar system. I highly recommend this app!
Cost: $2.99

Angry Birds
You're probably thinking that Angry Birds isn't very educational, right? Liam plays this one more than the rest of us, and he's getting pretty good. He has had to figure out how a slingshot works (the right angles to use, the right force to exert) in order to smash the pigs structures. He plans to build his own real-life Angry Birds with balls (that we have to paint like birds), a slingshot and some wooden blocks. Very cool!
Cost: $0.99

Sudoku
Ella plays this one more than anyone else. I am actually amazed at how quickly she figured it out and can now complete a puzzle on her own. I never would have guessed that a 5-year-old could do that, but she saw me playing and wanted to try it out. I told her the basic rules, and gave her some hints, and off she went!
Cost: FREE (or you can upgrade for $0.99)

Flow Free
In this game you have to connect different coloured "pipes" from one dot to another. The pipes can't cross other pipes and you have to cover the whole board. It takes quite a bit of planning and trial-and-error to get each puzzle figured out. The kids could play this one for hours if I would let them. In fact, I'm certain that I have wasted many hours playing this myself. And it's free! This is a great game.
Cost: FREE

Doodle Buddy
This is a drawing app. You can choose different types of brushes, colours and backgrounds. And there are even "stickers." You can also save your drawings. I really like that the kids can have complete creative freedom. There are plenty of colouring book apps out there, which they enjoy as well, but they really love to create their own masterpieces.
Cost: FREE

ABC Phonics
I'm a little surprised at myself for including this app, because it's much too "schoolish" for my tastes, but the kids love it. It's very simple - there is a list of animals on the side, you tap one, the name and picture of the animal pops up, a voice reads out the name of the animal, and you trace the name. That's it. I guess it teaches reading and writing? I don't know, but Liam spends a lot of time writing on this app.
Cost: FREE

SiriusXM
We LOVE our satellite radio. I don't think I could ever go back to regular radio, honestly. The kids love the station "Kids Place Live" and I actually like it, too. The songs are fun and, best of all, completely appropriate. They know all the words to all the songs, and I know it would be the same if we listened to pop music...and they definitely don't need to know the words to those songs. This app lets us play any satellite radio station over the iPad (or iPhone), so we will often hook it up to a set of speakers in the playroom and have a dance party. Fun!
Cost: FREE (but you need to have a SiriusXM subscription, which is about $15 per month)

So there you have it. I could go on and on, because there is so much great stuff out there, but I'll stop here (for now). Do you have any great apps that you want to share? Leave me a comment! I'd love to hear about them!

Friday, October 5, 2012

ella's workbook

When we went on our recent trip to Manitoba, Ella wanted to take a puzzle book with her. Since she had already completed every maze, word search, spot-the-difference, dot-to-dot, matching, and decoding puzzle in our house, we went out to buy her a new book. The one she chose was one of those schoolish workbooks, filled with activities to help you understand and practice what they are teaching at school. She chose the fattest one she could find, with three subjects in it: math, reading, and writing at the grade 1 level.

She did a few pages during the flight, but wasn't too into it. However, today she has spent a good chunk of the day engrossed in all the activities in the book. She whipped through the math section, skipping the pages that seemed boring or pointless. She was even faster through the reading section, reading the little passages, and answering all the questions. (Apparently, although not surprisingly, she is quite adept at reading comprehension.) Then she went to work on the writing section, practicing her upper- and lowercase letters on the dotted lines. Finally she quit the book and went to the playroom with Liam.

I've been thinking about this workbook a lot. At first, it made me kind of proud to watch her do it. It proved that Ella is capable of doing all the work required of first grade students. Sweet! I must be doing something right! But the more I thought about it, the more ridiculous this book seemed to me. As she was completing all the activities, I could tell that she wasn't actually learning anything. Literally. She was learning NOTHING.

For example, there were a lot of questions about money. The book showed pictures of all the coins, told what they are all worth, and gave little math problems like, "John has this much money, and spends this much on a gumball, so how much does he have left?" Well, Ella already knows money because she uses money in real life.

In the reading section, it showed examples of things you might come across in real life, such as a birthday invitation and grocery list, and asked several reading comprehension questions about each. That was easy for Ella because she regularly makes and uses grocery lists. She actually does come across these things all the time in real life.

She already understood the fractions because of all the baking we do. She didn't need to learn any of the words on the "sight words" reading list because she already knows all the sight words (and why wouldn't she - if you spend enough time reading, you get to know words like and, the, she and it really well). The reading comprehension was way too easy for her because she already spends most her waking hours reading and comprehending (and without being quizzed on it, too). The writing practice was kind of boring - what's the point in writing the same letter over and over? In fact, the more I thought about the book, the more I realized how pointless the whole thing was.

Why do we need to teach this stuff to kids at school? Every single thing covered in this "comprehensive" workbook is easily learned in real life. EVERY SINGLE THING. (If you don't believe me, I will gladly show you the book.) Ella didn't learn anything from the activities in the book because she had already learned these things just by living her life. I didn't sit down with her for a lesson on "sight words" before I let her read a book. That's absurd! I didn't give her a worksheet on fractions or make her do a bunch of pointless math problems. We baked cupcakes, we counted goldfish crackers, we sorted toys, we found patterns in nature, we counted by 5s and 10s just for fun, we discussed speed and distance while driving, we added up the number of girls and boys in a room, we found the math that's all around us. I didn't make her print letters over and over. She wrote stuff because she had something to say. She wrote real things: cards, grocery lists, her name, books.

However, as pointless as I think this workbook is, I learned something else today. Part of unschooling is allowing your child to learn what and how she wants to. For Ella today, that was doing a schoolish workbook. So even if it's not what I would have chosen for her, I had to respect her choice. And, I must admit, it was cool when I would see her read a page, think for a moment, and then decide that it was a pointless activity. (Kids at school just don't have that option.) And, I must also admit, it gave me a little piece of mind that she is actually learning stuff, even though she's not in a classroom.

Monday, September 24, 2012

why "early learning" doesn't help

I recently came across an interesting article from the Institute of Marriage and Family Canada. The article, called "Nurturing Children: Why 'early learning' doesn't help" is based on an interview with Dr. Gordon Neufeld, a Canadian developmental psychologist and best-selling author of Hold on to your kids: Why parents need to matter more than peers. (I haven't read his book yet, but it is definitely on my ever-growing "to read" list!)

The article is well worth reading in it's entirety, but to sum it up, Dr. Neufeld believes that kids don't need any sort of "early learning" until they are at least six years old - no daycare, no preschool, no junior kindergarten, no kindergarten. He says that parents put their kids into these sorts of programs under the impression that they need to be socialized, but Dr. Neufeld emphatically states, "Probably the greatest myth that has evolved is this idea that socializing with one's equals leads to socialization." Another developmental psychologist, Urie Bronfenbrenner has this to say: "It should be clear that being socialized is not necessarily the same as being civilized. Nazi youth were also products of a socialization process." The article defines socialization as "rendering children fit for society so that children can grow and mature into becoming contributing adults, who can respectfully interact with others in community, be it at work or home, with colleagues, family and friends....Socialization involves being able to get along with others while at the same time being true to oneself."

So then how does socialization happen? Attachment. We are social creatures, and it is important for us to have close relationships. It is through these relationships that we develop a sense of self, according to developmental psychologist John Bowlby. If children spend most of their time with peers, they become peer attached instead of developing a strong attachment to the adult(s) in their lives. If children create these peer attachments too early, they do not have a strong enough sense of self, and so are unable to hold on to their uniqueness. Peers become more and more alike, creating a "sameness" among children. Helen Ward (president of Kids First Parents Association) says that the problem with socializing at school is that "kid's 'friends' are not really 'friends' in any meaningful sense of the word. They are not mature people who can handle another's pain or difference of opinion. Peers want you to be the same as them."

Dr. Neufeld believes that the capacity for healthy relationships unfolds during the first six years of a person's life. He says that "by the fifth year of life, if everything is continuous and safe, then emotional intimacy begins. A child gives his heart to whomever he is attached to."

I, for one, would like my children to give their hearts to me. Before I even read this article or learned a whole lot about peer attachments, I knew that sending my kids to school would cause a change in our relationship. I just knew that sending our kids to daycares and preschools was something that I didn't want to do. Call it mother's intuition, or whatever, but I love that I now have research which backs up our decision to home educate! Because now I have a "legitimate" answer for anyone who asks me about socialization, or is worried that my kids aren't making enough friends.

The article also talks a bit to parents who are have already enrolled their kids in these types of "early learning" programs. If you have put your kid in early care because you think they need to be socialized,  Dr. Neufeld wants you to know that "this is not a researched reason to do so." For parents who need to have their kids in care because of full time employment, perhaps "unregulated" care in the home of a trusted adult would be better than a "one-size-fits-all" government regulated system, which is less personal and more distant from parents.

To this I would also add, perhaps you don't need to be employed at all. I stay at home to be with my kids. This means that we don't have fancy cars, we don't have a huge brand new house, we hardly ever go out to eat, we don't have cable, all our furniture is from Ikea or craigslist, we don't buy a lot of clothes, we don't go on expensive vacations, and we don't own a boat or trailer, but despite all this (or perhaps because of all this), we are happy. I know that there are many families who need two incomes to cover the basic necessities of life. I get it. But I also know that we have become a consumer culture, greedy for the newest and best of everything, so now both partners need to work to pay for all this stuff. Do we really need all this stuff?

I'm probably stepping on some toes here. But if you're mad at me, then at least I've got you thinking. And I'm ok with that.

Thursday, September 20, 2012

away we go!

One of the most exciting things about unschooling, for our family, is the possibility of travel. Without being tied to a school schedule, or having to worry about Provincial Learning Outcomes, we are free to travel the world! I would love to save up some money, rent out our house, and just go for a year. How amazing would it be for our kids to experience other cultures, meet different people, learn new languages, try exotic foods, and make unforgettable family memories? Pretty amazing, I think!

Ella and I are going to start off our travel adventures next week with a trip to exciting Manitoba, Canada. I know, it's not China or Uganda or Ireland, but we have a very good reason for choosing Manitoba. We have the most amazing friends who moved there recently, and it just happened that the timing worked for both of us, and visa points could foot the bill, so away we go!

Ella is so excited to go on an airplane. The last time she took to the skies, she was 18 months old and doesn't remember a thing about it. Probably for the best, as she cried the entire way home from Toronto. Hopefully this flight goes a little better. And, of course, she is also beyond excited to spend time with her friends.

I am more nervous than excited, at least about the flight. I'm not afraid of flying or anything, but when your daughter has a life-threatening peanut allergy, it's pretty scary to be trapped thousands of miles away from a hospital with a hundred other people who are probably eating peanuts, peanut butter sandwiches, and peanut M&Ms. We are taking the necessary precautions, but the risk is still there.

For any of you who don't know us, Ella is about as allergic as a person can be to peanut. We're talking throat-swelling, unable-to-breathe, violently-vomiting, heart-stopping, possible-death allergic. We always carry at least two EpiPens anywhere we go, we have to be extremely careful about what she eats, and we have to control her environment, because literally a speck of peanut protein that enters her body can cause anaphylactic shock. So think about all the times you see people on flights popping nuts into their mouths and then touching the arm rest, tv screen, seat pocket, seatbelt, etc, etc, etc. Peanut protein everywhere!

But (and this is a big but) we are determined not to let her allergy dictate our lives. Sure, she has to be safe, and it makes "simple" things (like dinner out or an airplane ride) a lot more complicated, but that doesn't mean we can't do these things. It just takes more planning, research and caution than your average family. And if we're going to do as much travel as we are planning to, then we'll just have to get used to it!

So even though I am nervous, I am also beyond excited. The friends that we are going to visit are unschoolers, just like us. (In fact, these are the friends that introduced us to the whole idea of unschooling, which I wrote about in why we unschool.) And now that we've been on this journey for a little while, I am starting to realize how much we need people in our world who "get" us, and this wonderful family probably "gets" us better than anyone else. Other homeschool moms come close, but they still look at me with a mixture of confusion and doubt when I tell them that we don't go for the whole "school-at-home" thing. Other Christian parents share our faith, but they don't share our educational philosophies. Not that I can't be friends with these people, obviously! We love all our friends dearly and are so thankful for their friendship and support! But I've realized that it's also important for us to have people that we can discuss "unschooling things" with. People with whom we can share our fears, talk about milestones, share resources, discuss books, talk about ideas, discuss our educational philosophy, and offer support. So I am incredibly thankful for this opportunity to spend some quality time with my lovely friend! I just wish she lived closer so we could see them more often!

So in just one week, we'll be off! I'm sure we will both have fun, learn lots, and even be able to check "socialization" off our list for this week. ;)

Saturday, September 15, 2012

saying "yes" to cupcakes

I have recently decided to make a conscious effort to say "yes" to my kids more often, intentionally and unselfishly. Sometimes that means letting them wear old ballet costumes all day long, or eating a lunch consisting entirely of foods that are orange. Many times it means going to the playground when I don't really feel like it, or watching for hours on end while they perform a "show" for me.

Recently, I said "yes" to a library book.

Ella found a book all about cupcake decorating and decided she would take it home, find a recipe, and make it. To me it sounded like a lot of work for no reason. To her it sounded like the greatest idea ever. So I said "yes."

The whole ride home she poured over the book. She asked me about different ingredients, and realized that she would need to go to the store. She told me we would need butter that is very soft, at which point Liam piped up from the back to inform us all that we would have to take the butter out of the fridge for a long time to make it soft. When we got home she sat and looked at the book for hours. She showed me pictures of her favourite cupcakes. She showed me pictures of amazing cupcakes. She shared her enthusiasm every time she read something that delighted her.

The finished product!
Finally, she chose the cupcakes that she would make: chocolate cupcakes with chocolate fudge topping and jelly beans. So we went to the kitchen to see what ingredients we would need. She sat at the table, book spread open, pen in hand, ready to make a list. She wrote down all the things she needed, and we were off.

At the grocery store, she found the items on her list, and crossed them off. We had to go to another store to find peanut-free jelly beans, and then we were done. As soon as we got home, Ella rushed to the kitchen to start assembling the ingredients. And, of course, she made sure to put on her apron.

She followed all the instructions, reading them aloud from the book for me. At first she read every fraction she saw as "half," so we had to pause for a quick lesson in fractions - what 1/2 and 1/4 and 3/4 actually mean, and how to say them. I showed her how to turn on the oven, how to measure the dry ingredients, how to measure the butter (after some brief calculating to figure out how much exactly 7 tablespoons is equal to), and how to use the Kitchen Aid mixer. She showed me that she already knew how to crack the eggs into the bowl. Liam put the cupcake papers into the tin and counted them, learning what a "dozen" means.

After they were baked, we started on the topping. I showed the kids how a double boiler works and why we use it to melt chocolate. They stood at the stove stirring as the chocolate melted and the sauce thickened. They were so amazed at the transformation! And then came the best part - decorating. Ella spooned the sauce onto the cupcakes and then we added the jelly beans on top. Done!

They were so proud of their work, and SO excited to try them, so when they asked if we could have cupcakes at 4:30 in the afternoon, what else could I say but, "Yes!" Although I had to draw the line when Liam asked for a second one at 4:35. I still have to say "no" sometimes.

So it turned out to be pretty easy to say "yes" to this particular request. It took up a whole day of our time, but we have the freedom to do that. Ella practiced her reading, writing, math, and learned a bunch of baking skills, all the time having fun. A pretty good day, in my books.

By the way, the cupcakes were delicious. I'm glad I said "yes" this time.


Thursday, September 13, 2012

our first "field trip"

My kids LOVE the zoo, so we have a family membership and go there all the time. Ella's favourite are the zebras, especially now that they have a baby zebra. Liam likes to watch the bird show, especially the super fast falcon. Gavin loves any bird he sees, whether it's an exotic ostrich or a finch trying to scrounge some lunch. And all three of them really like to go on the miniature train ride. Personally, I love to watch the baboons.

So when the local homeschool group that I belong to planned a field trip to the zoo, I was excited to join in. The kids would get to hang out with other school-age kids, and we would get to explore the zoo together. Win-win!

Except that's not exactly how it worked out. I had never been on a field trip before (unless you count my own school days, eons ago, which I can barely remember now), so I didn't quite know what to expect. There was not too much exploring. Our day was planned, almost to the minute, and filled with "educational" experiences. Not too much hanging out, either. The only time the kids had to play and interact with each other was after lunch when they all raced off to the playground together. Unfortunately, we were scheduled to ride the train right after lunch, so playtime lasted all of about 7 minutes. It was still a fun day, just a lot different than I expected. To me, the day felt like school at the zoo. Which I suppose is what any field trip really is - school at some location other than school. I just didn't realize that until we got there.

The real problem I had, however, was with the "educational program" that we participated in. For $2 per kid, a zoo employee gives a little talk as they take us around to see a few of the animals. Sounds good in theory, right? The kids get to learn a bit more about the animals than they might from just looking at them. So we signed up for the a program that was all about the food chain. As soon as we met the leader of the program, she took one look at my kids and told me that they wouldn't understand her talk because they were too little. She didn't ask how old they were, she didn't talk to them, she didn't enquire about their prior knowledge on the topic. She just assumed that they wouldn't get it. I was a little ticked off, but I just told her not to worry about them and to go on with the talk. If they wanted to listen, they could. So she began. And she talked to the kids like they were deaf. Honestly, I've never seen someone talk so slowly, and annunciate so deliberately, to a group of kids. Perhaps she thought that if she talked slow enough, my not-so-bright kids might have a chance of understanding? I don't know.

And then it got worse. A big part of her talk involved kid volunteers reading off laminated cards about different parts of the food chain. Of course, Ella put up her little hand every time. The leader had to acknowledge her, since not too many other kids wanted to read at that point. She looked at Ella and said, "Are you sure you can read this? There are some really hard words." What I thought was, Are you kidding me? A kid who is probably fairly new to reading is volunteering to do it in front of a crowd and your reaction is to tell her that she won't be able to do it? What I said was, "She can do it, just let her try." So Ella went up to the front and started to read aloud. It was about grass, so when Ella came to the word "chlorophyll," she stopped and said she couldn't do it. Well, of course. She had just been told she wouldn't be able to do it. The leader sweetly said, "How about your mom comes up to read with you?" So I joined Ella up at the front and read aloud all the words she refused to read. The frustrating thing was that I know if she had been reading that paragraph on her own, she would have read all the words. She may have mispronounced a couple, but at least she would have tried instead of just shutting down. It makes me sad that this was her first experience reading aloud in front of peers.

It got me thinking, though. How many kids at school have the same type of experience with reading aloud? It can be a daunting task, especially when you are young and new to reading. It seems to me that an adult in this situation should encourage the child, rather than discourage. (Of course, there are some great teachers out there who would do just that, but I'm sure there are also some "less great" teachers, too.) Another thing it made me realize was that this woman, who assumed Ella wouldn't be able to read this particular paragraph, just witnessed Ella not being able to read it. She probably thinks that she was correct in her judgement of Ella. Of course, I know differently. I know how well Ella can read because I get to witness it every day. No big deal for us. However, what about all those kids at school who are plunked into the "remedial" reading group simply because of the way they read aloud? I don't have any stats on this, but I bet there are a lot of kids whose skills are not truly known by their teachers. And why does it matter? Well, I have actually read (in one of the many books that I have read about school, though I don't remember which one) that kids who are in the lower reading group in early elementary school are worse off for their whole school career, and beyond. Scary.

Now, I do realize that the leader of this program was probably trying to be helpful by warning me that my kids are younger than other participants, and by warning Ella of the difficulty of the paragraph. However, the message she was sending was that Ella would not be able do the task, because of her perceived age and assumed reading level. And Ella received that message loud and clear. The lady told me I wouldn't be able to read these hard words, and that mom would need to do it for me, so I'm not going to bother trying. If the leader had concerns, perhaps she could have asked me beforehand about Ella's age, her reading level, and her knowledge of the topic. I could have told her that Ella reads at least as well as the average 3rd grader, and that she knows a fair bit about animals from the countless books she gets from the library.

Regardless, both Ella and Liam learned a fair bit from her presentation. They walked around the zoo afterwards talking about herbivores, omnivores and carnivores. They discussed which category humans fell into, and what we eat. Pretty good for a couple of kids who couldn't understand because they were too little.

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

our fundraising project: update!

A couple of weeks ago, Ella and Liam started a new project. A fundraising project, raising money for PWS research. You can read all about it in my initial blog post. We are now 10 days away from the walk, One Small Step for Prader-Willi Syndrome, and I'd like to update you on their progress.

As soon as we set up the donation website, blogged all about it, and shared it on facebook, the donations started pouring in! Within just a few days, they were already half way to their goal of $800, which I had initially thought was quite a lofty goal. They sure showed me!

The kids' uncle showed up with a truck full of empty bottles and cans. Their Grandpa brought over an extremely heavy bag of rolled coins. Relatives and friends from all across Canada donated money through the website. I couldn't believe the generosity!

Ella & Liam composed an email to all their family and friends to tell them about PWS, the walk, and how to donate. And even more donations came in! Their Great Aunt & Uncle brought over bottles and cans that they had been hoarding in the garage all year. Their Auntie gave them money to put in the donation can they made. Friends brought cash. And even more relatives and friends donated through the website.

So proud of their sorting job!
By this point, our garage was starting to look like a recycling centre, so we sorted the bottles and cans into bags, and took a trip to the bottle depot. Our entire van was filled; there was barely enough room for the kids to sit. At the depot, it was hot and smelly, and the three of us were in there for much longer than I would have liked, but Ella and Liam loved it. They sorted and counted like pros. They watched the guys working at the back and figured out where they were putting all the different items. They talked to everyone. They asked questions. They guessed how much money we would make. And in the end, they learned the value of hard work when they were rewarded with $59.85. I have never earned more than $12 at the bottle depot, so I was pretty impressed! They took the money home and added it to the can right away.

You're probably wondering what the grand total is, right? Well, I am proud to announce that over the past two weeks, my 3- and 5-year-old kids have raised about $600. With 10 days to go, they are only $200 away from their goal. I honestly can't believe it! The generosity of our family and friends has been amazing. We appreciate every single cent that you all have donated! And I know that Ellie and her family appreciate it, too.

On top of the obvious benefit of raising money for a worthy cause, I am so excited for all that my kids are learning, too. By doing all the different activities associated with this fundraising campaign, they have worked on the following skills: counting, sorting, writing, speaking, researching, counting money, planning, goal setting, progress tracking, empathy, fundraising, project management, and so much more. This campaign has been such a valuable real-world learning experience for them. As John Holt says, children learn more from doing actual, serious, meaningful work, than from doing activities thought up by adults to try and teach them about real work. Instead of reading a book about fundraising and then doing a worksheet, my kids have had the opportunity to actually fundraise. And in doing this serious, meaningful work, they have also learned all those things that they may have learned sitting in math class, or language arts, or whatever you want to classify it as. But they have had fun. And they have learned these things in the real world.

Since there are still 10 days left in the campaign, if you'd like to be a part of it, feel free to donate through our website, or contact me if you'd like to donate any change or bottles and cans. Thank you for your support!

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

it's official!

Our "not back to school" photo:
Ella is teaching Liam to say "squirrel"
Well, here we are on the second day of school. Actually, I guess that's not where WE are at all. That's where everyone else is. At least that's what it feels like to me. Most of my news feed on facebook over the past two days has been filled with photos of kids starting school: kids in cute backpacks, kids in mismatched "first day of school" outfits, kids in uniforms, kids with lunchboxes, kids laughing, kids looking close to tears, tiny kids standing in front of huge school buildings, huge kids standing in front of huge school buildings...you get the picture. It feels like we are the only ones on the planet NOT going to school this week!

Up until today, all this "home education" stuff was just something we were planning to do, but now that the first day of kindergarten has come and gone, it seems official. We are officially homeschooling. Not going to school. Huh.

I admit, I am a little nervous. Or a lot nervous. I mean, if homeschooling is so great, why aren't more people doing it? If school is so terrible, why are so many kids there today? Are we doing the right thing? Perhaps after reading my blog, you might think that I have it all figured out, but let me assure you that I do not. As with any important parenting decision, all I can do is learn as much as I can, pray as much as I can, and hope that my kids turn out ok.

Don't get me wrong, though, because I am absolutely convinced that we are doing the best thing for our kids and our family. I am so thankful that they are here with me today instead of at school. I am so thankful that we have the freedom to be able to do this financially. I am so excited for the journey that God is leading our family on. But we all have doubts sometimes, right? Especially when we are doing something so out of the ordinary, against the grain, and just plain different than everyone else.

I was encouraged by an email that I got yesterday from a Canadian homeschooling association. They did a survey of education standards across the country, and found that children are well prepared for the first grade if they can do the following:
  • recognize alphabet and some words;
  • print first name;
  • count and recognize numbers up to 20, group items together according to the number;
  • know basic shapes, sort and classify objects and animals;
  • communicate by asking questions and telling simple stories or facts;
  • express their feelings;
  • understand how to share;
  • listen to others;
  • understand and follow simple directions;
  • start to understand time, i.e., calendar;
  • know facts about their community; and
  • be able to create a drawing and enjoy music.

Well, if that's all it takes to graduate kindergarten, then Liam is ready for the first grade. I think I can handle this whole homeschooling thing. And I know God can handle all my doubts.

Sunday, September 2, 2012

back-to-school anxieties?

The other day I was at the library with the kids. After picking out a giant heap of books (with topics ranging from turkeys, to space, to ballet, to structures, to sight, to storybooks and novels), the kids wanted to spend some time playing with the toys in the kids area. As unlikely as it may seem, I looked around at my kids, saw that all three were playing nicely, and decided that maybe I would have time to find a magazine and read a couple of articles. Naturally, I chose a parenting magazine (the September 2012 edition of Today's Parent), sat on the couch, sipped my unfortunately cold coffee, and opened it up.

I flipped through the magazine, scanning many articles, and quickly realized that this was the "back-to-school" issue. Great. I get 10 minutes to read something, and most of the articles are irrelevant to me. However, one particular article jumped out at me. It was just one page long, titled, "The Dreaded Drop-Off." It was all about how to drop-off your preschooler, kindergartner, or first grader at school, without tears (theirs) or guilt (yours). The article listed a number of reasons why a young child might get upset about going to school, and gave parents helpful hints about overcoming them. For example, if your child is afraid that you are going to drop him off at school and never pick him up again, you should leave some "collateral" with him, such as a watch or necklace, so that he knows you are coming back. Makes sense, right? Mom might not come back for me, but I know she would never abandon her watch. Another tip was to write "XO" on your child's palm, so that any time she needed a kiss from you, she could just press her palm to her lips. As a last resort, the article suggested good old-fashioned bribery: give him a sticker for the chart any day you drop him off without tears.

On the surface, this article seems helpful: a bunch of great tips on how to make your child feel better and stop crying every time you leave them at school. But what if we just didn't make them cry in the first place?

Let's think about the root of the problem for a moment. Your 5-year-old does not want to be separated from you for an entire day. Can you blame him? From birth (and even before), a mother is a child's whole world. She is the child's main source of nourishment, love, care, acceptance, laughter, comfort, play, and so many more things. Why do we assume that 5 is the magic age when a child is ready to spend most of his waking hours away from the one person he has come to depend on most? To go a step further, why do we think that "socialization" is so important that we need to isolate kids who are 3- and 4-years-old from their mothers as well?

Our western society has become almost obsessed with starting kids at school younger and younger. The earlier they start school, the more they will learn, right? As if 5 wasn't too early already, now it is completely normal to start a kid in "junior kindergarten" at age 4, which is a full-day program in many schools. And almost everyone starts their child in some sort of a preschool at age 3. But do these kids really need to start their schooling so young? If we take a look at Finland, which is widely regarded as having one of the best school systems in the world, we see another picture. Children in Finland do not start any formal instruction at all until age 7. (They also spend the least number of hours in the classroom, but that's off-topic for now.) And yet, they have higher test scores than kids from any other country. Clearly they didn't need to be taught anything before age 7.

As I read the article from Today's Parent, and as I hear parents talk (or post on facebook) about how upset they are at the thought of sending their "babies" away all day, I feel an overwhelming sadness. I am sad for the kids who just want a kiss from mommy, but all they get is an "XO" on their hand. I am sad for the kids who feel abandoned every morning. I am sad for the kids who are trying hard not to cry in front of their moms and peers. Even if homeschooling is not for everyone, maybe all that kids need is a couple more years with the person they love best.

Monday, August 27, 2012

learning for a cause

Hello, friends! It's good to be back! We've been vacationing and having fun, but I'm excited to get back to this blog and tell you about everything we've been learning. I think the kids learned more during "summer vacation" than they did all year!

One thing that the kids are really excited about right now is the walk they will be doing on September 22nd: One Small Step for Prader-Willi Syndrome. You've likely never heard of PWS; I hadn't until about a year ago. Allow me to explain...

I have a facebook friend, who I haven't seen in "real life" for many years, but facebook is funny like that - we can feel like we really know someone through their posts and photos, even when we haven't spoken in ages. Anyway, she had a baby girl just a few days after I had Gavin. Through facebook and her blog, we have followed their journey over the last year or so. Her sweet baby girl had many health complications, and spent much of her first year hospitalized. After a whole bunch of testing, the doctors arrived at the diagnosis of Prader-Willi Syndrome (PWS). It is a genetic disorder which causes  dysfunction of the hypothalamus. A baby with PWS has low muscle tone and poor sucking reflex, and motor milestones are usually delayed. Sometime between age 2 and 6, persons with PWS develop an insatiable hunger, and if not closely monitored, they would eat all the time. If left untreated, this could lead to morbid obesity with all it's complications. A variety of other symptoms can be associated with PWS: cognitive challenges, short stature, scoliosis, and many more. Currently, there is no cure for PWS. (All this information and more can be found at the Foundation for Prader-Willi Research Canada website.)

Since the diagnosis, my friend has become an ambassador for PWS, raising money for research, as well as raising awareness. Most recently, she organized a walk to raise funds to find a cure for PWS. These walks are held all over North America. Her event, One Small Step for Prader-Willi Syndrome, will be on September 22nd in Ladner, BC.

The kids like to look at facebook photos with me, so they have seen photos of this little girl in the past. So I told Ella and Liam about the walk, and explained why people do events like these. I explained that there is no medicine or cure for kids who are diagnosed with PWS, but that if people get together and give money, the doctors can do research and try to find a cure. Both the kids, but Liam especially, seemed upset that this little girl would not "get better." So they decided that they would like to do the walk. We talked about fundraising, and the kids came up with some ideas about how they could make money. Some of the better ideas were to collect bottles and cans, and sell cupcakes. Some of the funnier ideas were to "go to work with Daddy" and "just get some money from the bank."

They were so excited, and wanted to start right away. We made our fundraising web page for people to donate online, and after much discussion, they decided to set a fundraising goal of $800 (eek!). We found an old formula can that they made a label for, to collect change in. They ran around the house looking for places that they might find small change, and I was amazed by how much they found! They wanted to start canvasing the neighbourhood right away to collect bottles and cans, but I thought that should wait until people got home from work. As I put Liam to bed tonight, he said, "We forgot to make cupcakes!" I told him not to worry, that we had 3 weeks to raise the money. They also have plans to talk to their family and friends about PWS, to see if anyone they know wants to donate to their walk (so watch out, they are very convincing, and very cute!).

I am so happy to see how excited they are about this project. I think that it is so important for kids to learn empathy; to be able to imagine what life is like for someone else. It would be easy to fundraise for a cause that directly impacts us (for example, Anaphylaxis Canada does a walk every year). But my kids are not directly affected by PWS. They have never actually met anyone diagnosed with PWS. In fact, if we wanted to, we could have ignored the facebook invite to the One Small Step walk, and our lives would have been none the worse. But what an amazing opportunity for them to learn about caring for someone else! By learning about PWS, and talking about what it might be like to live with PWS, they are (hopefully) learning empathy. By working hard to raise money, they are learning about helping others. They are learning about pulling together for a cause. They are learning to be selfless with their time and money. And they will probably even learn how hard it really is to make money!

If you'd like to support their efforts, please visit our fundraising page to make a donation. Any amount, no matter how small, will help towards their goal! I know they will be so excited as they start to see donations coming in!

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

why i take the kids grocery shopping

Any of you with kids (especially 3 or more kids) will understand why grocery shopping can be a big deal. In my experience, for a family with kids, there are basically two conditions under which all grocery shopping is accomplished:

The more favourable scenario: your husband is home so you get to go grocery shopping ALL ALONE. You stop at Starbucks for a latte and leisurely stroll around the store, not forgetting anything, and even pausing in the magazine isle for 10 minutes. Bliss!

The makes-you-want-to-pull-your-hair-out scenario: you are out of pretty much everything and the kids need to eat lunch. Of course, your husband is NOT home, so you have to drag all 3 kids to the grocery store. You forget most of what you came for because you spend most of your time chasing kids, looking for kids, breaking up fights, putting items back on the shelves, and sighing. Sigh.

As you can imagine (or have experienced yourself), grocery shopping alone is preferable.

However, I take the kids grocery shopping. It is sort-of a love-hate thing for me. On one hand, it is SO frustrating shopping with kids; it's like herding cats. But on the other hand, grocery shopping is a gold mine of learning experiences. Sigh.

We went grocery shopping yesterday, and I lived to tell the tale. There were many frustrating moments. In fact, if I am honest, there were mostly frustrating moments. We got the special shopping cart, with the green car in it that seats two kids, complete with a steering wheel for each. Of course, one steering wheel just isn't enough when you're a kid, so fighting with your brother is necessary. I spent much of the trip trying to get Liam and Gavin to stop wrestling. Ella was walking running, either way ahead or way behind me, yelling questions like, "DO WE NEED COOKIES?" Gavin enjoyed pulling as many items as possible off the shelves when I was foolish enough to park the cart too close (which I too often was). I don't know why I'm surprised when I get looks from other shoppers, or endearing comments from old ladies such as, "My, aren't YOU busy!"

But on the other hand, we learn so much at the grocery store (other than the obvious lesson: don't take kids to the grocery store). Ella was the keeper of the list during this particular trip. She led us through the store, reading the items, finding them on the shelves, and crossing them off as we put them in the cart. This was a LOT slower than just doing it myself, so I had to keep reminding myself of all that she was learning. Beyond just the obvious reading practice, she was learning about: only buying what you need, planning, organization, searching, value for money, flexibility (when something on the list wasn't available, or when a similar product was on a good sale), and so much more that I probably didn't even notice. Not only that, but she was learning how to function in a real society, interacting with real people, doing a real task. She was engaged in what we were doing, probably because she saw the value in it; if we didn't go to the grocery store, we would have nothing to eat. It was a task that had a purpose.

I know all these lessons could have been learned at school, but I believe it is better to learn them in "real life." How many kids are missing out on family shopping trips because they are stuck in a classroom learning about currency during math class? How much better would the "lesson" stick if they were given the task of paying for the family's groceries with a stack of real cash? Ella and Liam both use cash on a regular basis, and Ella is quite good at the on-your-feet math it takes to figure out which bills and coins to hand to the cashier. Sure, it takes a little patience, but I'm learning, too, right?

So I continue to take the kids grocery shopping. We learns lots, we interact, we spend time together. And I look forward to the day that I can hand Ella a list and a stack of cash and send her out the door. Because isn't that really the point of education - to raise confident, self-sufficient kids who can live in and contribute to society? I think so.

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

what will they do all day?

To continue my series of common questions that I began on June 18th, I would like to discuss another question that I am asked quite frequently.

Usually after I explain to someone that we are not following a curriculum, and we discuss the reasons why, the question of our day-to-day happenings comes up. It usually goes something like this: "But what will your kids do all day? I think if most kids were home all day, they would just watch TV and play video games (*insert nervous laughter here*). They would never learn anything on their own."

Well, let me ask you this: when you come home from a day of work, what do you want to do? You probably don't want to make dinner, get your kids to do their homework, give the baby a bath, wash the dishes, and put in a load of laundry. And, chances are, you definitely don't want to sit at the kitchen table and do some more work that your boss sent home with you. Personally, sitting on the couch and watching "The Nanny" sounds like a pretty good evening to me. So why shouldn't kids be the same?!?! Schooled kids have essentially been locked up in a classroom "learning" all day (OK, fine, they get 45 minutes of playtime at lunch), so the last thing they want to do when they get home is more "learning." So when we see our child at the end of a long day, we see the tired-lazy-TV-watching-video-game-playing version of that child. If this is what we see day in and day out, it is hard to imagine that if we pulled this kid out of school, he would do anything other than that.

But I would like to suggest that every child, given the freedom, would choose to learn. However, the problem with sending kids to school is that we are training them from age 5 (and some even age 3 at preschool) to believe that learning is something which primarily happens in the classroom, with a teacher. And by about age 7, they believe that learning only happens because the teacher requires it. They believe that the reason for learning is to pass the test, do the worksheet, or complete the project. Sure, some kids enjoy the busywork of school, but many more kids see it as either boring, or pointless, or something to just get done so they can can get on with their real lives.

But what if children were never exposed to this "learning because I have to" mindset? Think about your kids (or any kids that you know) when they were babies or toddlers. Learning was as natural as breathing. Every moment of every day was spent learning something important, and they loved it! Before school age, children learn to walk, talk, play, explore, think, reason, run, jump, pretend, share, create, dance, perform, and so much more. So why is it that when a kid turns 5 years old, we think that now learning needs to begin? The child has been doing it all along! If we just leave these toddlers alone, they will continue to learn as they grow, and they will enjoy it.

I offer some examples from my own children. As you are probably aware by now, I do not require them to learn anything. I do not have workbooks that they must fill out every day, or textbooks they must read, or mandatory subjects for them to study. They have been learning from the day they were born, and as they have grown, their learning has become increasingly more complex. They have shown interest in a huge variety of topics, and I have been a facilitator, allowing them the freedom to explore, and offering them help when they wanted it. They have amazed me time after time with what they are capable of!

Liam, at age 3, knows all his letters. I had no idea he knew the letters until the other day when he wanted to make a magazine for his daddy for Father's Day. He asked me to tell him the letters to spell out the words he wanted to write, so I told him the letters as well as how to write each of them. After I had explained how a few of the letters looked, he turned to me in frustration and said, "I KNOW how the letters look. I just want you to tell me what they are. I will write them myself." So I did just that, and he wrote them. Because I never required him to sit at a table and write out the letters, I had no idea that he even knew them. But all along, he has been watching and learning, on his own, because he obviously saw the value in knowing the letters. He chose to learn them!

The Lady of Shalott by John William Waterhouse
(an example of Pre-Raphaelite art)
Another example of our learning comes to mind. Just the other day, I was playing "house" with the kids. Ella decided that she was the mom, Liam wanted to be the 10-year-old "big boy" and they both wanted me to be the 3-year-old (Gavin, of course, was the baby). For some reason, it was the "olden days." Ella told me that there were no cars, no planes, and no wrapping paper or tissue paper for gifts. I added that there would have also been no microwaves, as she started to prepare a meal for the family. We talked more about the "olden days" and I suggested that the period she might be thinking of is the late 1800s. After a while, Ella asked me, "How do you know so much about the olden days?" I told her that I have read a lot of books, and watched documentaries. Incredulously, she asked, "Did you read those books when you were a kid?!?!" When I told her that I did indeed read many books as a kid, she decided that she better start reading some books right now. Fortunately, I had just unpacked a book about the Pre-Raphaelites, so I asked the kids if they wanted to look at it. We looked at the paintings in the book (which both kids discussed with more insight than I would have thought a preschooler capable of), and read some poems. I told them a little about the people and the time period, told them the story of The Lady of Shalott, and answered their questions as best I could. After a while, they decided they were done and wanted to play house again. It was a learning moment, but not a teaching moment. In school, they may have been required to draw a picture in the style of the Pre-Raphaelites, or analyze a poem (in later grades), but I think that would have taken away from the fun of it. They enjoyed looking at the book and talking about the olden days. They weren't looking for a lesson, but an experience. They enjoyed it far more than an episode of "Go Diego Go."

John Holt has said that all his work can be summed up in just two words: "Trust children." If we can trust that children know what is best for them, and allow them the freedom to pursue it, they will amaze us. I see it in my own kids already, and I am excited for what is yet to come. If Ella, at age 5, can decide to write a book about the heart and circulatory system (because it's fun!), what will she be doing at age 10? At 15? If she can teach herself to read, there's no reason she can't teach herself algebra, or biology, or whatever else she might be interested in.

And I have every confidence in the world that my children will continue to choose to learn.

Monday, June 18, 2012

how will they learn everything they need to know?

Whenever I talk to someone about our educational choices and methods, certain questions come up time after time. I plan to do a series of blog posts discussing the most common of these questions, mainly for those of you that I don't have the pleasure of talking to in person. If you ever do talk to me in person, however, I love discussing these issues, so ask away!

When I tell someone that we are home educating, they are usually enthusiastic at first, "Homeschooling? Good for you! Ella is so smart! She'll be able to whip through the curriculum in no time!" When I go on to explain that we're not really homeschooling, their enthusiasm usually drops a little. When I explain that we are taking a more natural approach to learning, that we will not be following a formal curriculum, and that the kids are going to be directing their own learning, the question that follows is usually something along the lines of, "If you don't tell them what to do, how are they going to learn everything they need to know?"

This questions holds the following assumption: there exists a set of facts which every person should know, and that without which, no person would be successful in life.

I don't blame anyone for making this assumption. The vast majority of us were schooled (either in a school building or at home) to believe that the things they were teaching us were of the utmost importance, and that we would not be successful in life if we didn't know these things. Think back on your own grade-school days. Do you actually remember anything you learned in elementary school? Do you remember any of the "facts" they taught you? Do you remember any of the answers to the reams of multiple-choice tests you took in high school?

I bet what you're thinking right now is, "Sure, I remember some of it! Not everything, of course, but I definitely learned some stuff!" Now think on this: what specifically do you remember? Do you remember anything from the subjects you had no interest in, or is most of what you remember from your favourite subjects? I would hazard a guess that for most of us, the things that stick with us through the years are the things that we enjoyed, the things that interested us, the things that were fun, the things that we found to be useful.

Let me give you an example. I was good at math. I didn't particularly enjoy it, but I got good grades. I did honours math in high school, and I even took "calculus for the biological sciences" in university. (To this day, I have no idea why I chose that course; I was not majoring in the biological sciences, I didn't love math, and the lectures were Monday, Wednesday and Friday at 8:30am. I think I skipped most of the Friday lectures.) Now, at 31 years old, I wouldn't even be able to define calculus, let alone perform any calculations. I hardly remember anything from high school math. And I bet you can guess why: I didn't really enjoy it, so I learned it well enough to pass the test, and then I forgot it. No big deal, though, because I don't need to use any of what I "learned" in my real life. My husband, Joel, on the other hand, uses math every day in his work. He enjoyed it as a student, he took many math courses in university, and he remembers nearly everything he learned. It actually amazes me that he can recall formulas he learned 15 years ago and still know how to use them. But it makes sense: he enjoyed it, it interested him, and he now uses it on a daily basis.

I believe that there is no universal set of facts that every person needs to know. I firmly believe that what one person needs to know is different than another person's set of necessary facts. Sometimes vastly different. For Joel, higher-level mathematics was on his need-to-know list. For me, not so much.

Given the chance to pursue his or her own interests, I believe that every child will learn what he or she needs to know to become a successful adult. If a person has no interest in math, chances are he will not need to use much of it in his future career choice. Why would he choose a job he hated? So beyond basic calculations and concepts necessary for everyday life, why should he be forced to "learn" a bunch of concepts that he will later forget? Perhaps what he loves to do is write, and his personal journey is leading towards a career in journalism. Wouldn't his time be better spent reading, writing essays, putting together newspapers, producing his own news show, traveling, taking photos, talking to interesting people, perusing newspapers, doing crosswords, or interning at a magazine?

Don't get me wrong, here. I do believe there are some things that every person should learn. Everyone should know how to read and write. (In fact, one of my biggest pet peeves is poor grammar.) Everyone needs to understand basic math to get along in life. Everyone should know how to think critically, research source documents, and come to his or her own conclusions, rather than taking someone else's word for it (ironically, and unfortunately, this is not something that is taught in school). Everyone needs to learn how to learn, because as an adult, the facts you learned in school do not matter as much as the process you went through to learn them.

In conclusion, to answer the question, I am quite confident that my kids will learn everything they need to know. I am also confident that it will look different from what other kids learn, but that's just fine with me.

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

more homeschooling in BC

Here's a short UPDATE to yesterday's post.

After meeting with some other homeschool moms last night, I realized that I missed one of the reasons that parents would choose to enroll their children rather than register: funding. If you enroll your child, the government gives you $1000 per year to spend on "school" stuff like curriculum, ballet lessons, art classes, drama lessons, karate, etc, etc. If you register your child, you only get $150.

At the meeting of moms that I attended, a very well meaning mom tried to explain to me that it would be much better to enroll so we could get that extra $850. She told me that there are some online schools that we could enroll with that are very lenient, and would basically let us do whatever we want. Of course, we would still have to submit reports every week to a certified teacher so she could make sure my kids were learning what the government wanted them to learn. Hmmm...

An extra $850 sure sounds nice, but is it worth the freedom that we would have to give up? I mean, isn't freedom the whole reason we decided to home educate in the first place? Am I willing to sell out for $850? Do my kids really need to take all the fancy lessons and classes that this $850 could buy? Wouldn't they have just as much fun (and learn just as much) exploring the forest behind our home, or playing on the playground, or attending programs at the library, or having playdates with other homeschool kids, or going on hikes, or playing pretend, or visiting a farm, or mountain biking, or doing any number of things that are available to us out there in the real world?

So, thank you, Ministry of Education, for the generous offer. But I think I'll pass.