but what about socialization?

As soon as I mention home education to anyone (besides other home educators), the first question is always, without fail, every single time, "But what about socialization?" Personally, I find the question absurd, but if you are wondering (and I know you are), please read on.

We first must define what you mean by "socialization."

Perhaps you are really asking, how will your kids learn how to be with 29 other kids their exact same age, all sitting quietly and listening to a teacher? How will they learn to get beaten up, bullied, excluded, and made fun of? How will they learn what it takes to be popular? How will they learn what it feels like to be unpopular? If this is what you are asking, I have a very short answer for you: they won't. And I don't care.

But perhaps you are asking, how will they make friends? Well, let me ask you this: where did you meet most of your friends? Work? Church? University? In your neighbourhood? At a book club? In an art class? Yoga? A support group? Hmmm...it seems there are quite a few places one can meet new friends. In fact, I would argue that there are quite a few places to meet new friends which are better than school. One thing that is crucial to a great friendship is having something in common with the other person. If you meet someone in an art class, you would both share a love of art. If you meet someone at church, you would share a belief system. However, if you meet someone at school, you would share the same birth year.

But I think of all the definitions of socialization, what you probably mean is something along the lines of this: if your kids don't go to school, how will they learn how to be a social being, to interact with people, to not be "socially awkward," to be comfortable in a group, etc, etc? I will answer your question with a question: how will your kids learn how to get along socially in the real world after being stuck in a classroom for 13+ years? If you really think about it, there is no other environment in the "real world" that is anything like school, where there are 30 kids and one authority figure. Well, possibly the army or a factory. But my point is that my kids are going to become social beings naturally. They will be interacting with real people in the real world. They will learn how to have a conversation with an adult. They will learn how to be friends with kids of all ages. They will be able to spend time doing real work with real people to mentor them. They will have time to take classes that interest them. They will go to church. So to answer your question, I am honestly more worried about schooled kids finding their way in the real world than I am about my kids.

I don't think this post would be complete without a mention of the stereotype that persists of the "awkward homeschool kid." Take a minute and think about some of the socially awkward people that you know. Probably most of them (if not all) went to school. I think that some people, regardless of their schooling, are just going to be awkward. It's part of their personality. And perhaps schooling actually causes social awkwardness in others. Think about the kids that are always being picked on, the unpopular kids, the kids with no friends. But of course, this is just my opinion, based on my own research and personal experience. So if my opinion doesn't convince you, there are studies which back up what I believe to be true. Dr. Thomas Smedley did a study which suggests that home educated kids actually have better socialization skills than publicly schooled kids. He administered the Vineyard Adaptive Behaviour Scales to all the kids, and the home learners ranked in the 84th percentile while the public schoolers ranked in the 27th. There are plenty of other studies, if you want to take some time to find them.

In conclusion, I am the first to admit that, YES, my kids will be different from most kids, but I don't think it's a question of "socialization." My kids won't be peer-dependent and adult-phobic. They won't be taught to unquestioningly submit to authority. They won't be dependent on others to tell them what to do. They won't be indoctrinated with society's consumerism. They won't be raised by their peers. They will learn to question the status quo. They will learn to find their own way. They will learn that they have the power to make their own choices. And for this, I am thankful.